Beyond Lachen 1 March
June 5 '49
Private
My dear H
It is a miserable [resource?] in distress to trouble ones friends with a share, but I do so by you with less scruples than any one, here we are still, without a morsel of food from Darjiling, and not what this [?], nor can go any where but back - Except some comes at once. I was wrong to push on so far but could not believe so - so careless or bad a calculation. A [chaprapin?] arrived 6 days ago at Choongtam, sick with the coolies who have the things you so kindly sent, of which they had eaten a good share I believe, for the serot I sent says, there were only 1/2 [mound?] Potatoes - poor Devils I cannot blame them - many thanks all the same, the onions are a blessing, as to the Potatoes they all go for food to my starving people - ditto all my rice. You have no idea what a horrid hole this is - I did think to redeem things a little with the gun, but in vain. two pigeons are all the Shikari and self together bagged in a week. At Lachen the people would not give us a morsel of rice. I well believe they could not -, and just as I had determined to send the Shikari back to Choongtam (which thank God is done) - The Soubah sent to forbid any shooting, you may guess the answer I gave. Next day he and the whole village came to say that the shooting brought on rain: and that the Rajah's son shooting here last year had done so - they brought a present (wretched of course) and so I wish the whole village to the [?] and took Shikari and gun out forthwith for the day - but shot not one thing say nothing in short - In the evening the whole village came again bringing 2 kinds and another present imploring me not to shoot, and they they would subscribe every scrap of food they could share kids and fowls. I again sent them away and asked Meepo, the Sirdar and Nimbo what was to be done. I was shooting nothing and were the villagers to be trusted? - I found that this worthy trio devoutly believed its story of the rain! that was not the question however and after due deliberation I agreed to give up the gun and get what food I could - it was really not choice but necessity and the villagers really believed the story of the rain. Since then I have had 3 fowls, milk and 2 kids, paying of course exhorbitantly, still it has enabled me to hang on, God knows how miserably anxious, for I have no hopes of Campbell's supplying food in time and [quantity?] now for another grievance - [?] at the Kid's flesh together for 6 men and leaving some men behind with nothing at all. I started for the passes, reputed 1/2 day off. Meepo knew nothing of the route and the village. Soubah came to shew it, We got started in the afternoon and got some few miles when we camped at a bridge over the Lachen, which the Soubah swore was the pass to China! It was useless getting angry so I said nothing, they offered to take me across and see its old Chinese guard house. I went and sure enough this which is a triangular spur falling the Lachen is [crowned?] with the remains of extensive old fortifications, with spur is continuous with Thibet of course and I dare say once was Chinese - This was of course a piece of [?] which I walked away to object and found myself fairly [?] - all the information I could collect from others was that, this once was China and the river the pass, but that now the frontier was removed 2 marches north - when the plain begins - In the evening the Soubah left and I called Meepo to council and for reproof and asked where the guide he brought from Durbar was - left behind at the village! I said nothing as usual, but dismissed him and afterwards recalled him told him that he, his guide and the Soubah had clubbed to deceive me and that I should not leave this till I saw the Mt. Pass he declared his grievance with justice but his innocence in vain poor Devil, the Rajah has [loaded?] him with lies and injunctions to deceive me and he cannot serve 2 masters - so here I am my dear Hodgson, without a particle of food but one kid like a [?] [?] the coolies complain they cannot carry their loads, it is raining cats and dogs no hopes of food from Darjilingt and I am very very anxious. I cannot tell you how much so. I have not lost hope, or [order] still less determination to stick here and send every soul but one Serot back if the authorities still refuse to shew me the way - but the complaints now breaking out of my people go well nigh to upset me, for every hour makes bad worse, and they have no faith in food from Darjiling. I cannot blame them. I do suppose Campbell has miscalculated our numbers, and also he most certainly has overlooked the fact, that I am progressing - that 5 days food, sent (say) on the 15th reaches me on the (say) 20th and lasts me till the 25th when I am 5 marches further from D. i.e. I must wait - with nothing for 5 days if C sends then next 5 days food after a 5 days interval surely he cannot be so bad a commissariat as not to know this! The Chaprapin who brought the Potatoes and was overtaken by news that coolies sent after he left, with food, had run away now as the last food sent only 5 [mounds?] reduced to 4 left on the 12th and the Chaprapin on the 17th it is plain that my movements were wholly uncalculated - Be that as it may now I have been well on for 33 days out of 13 [mounds?] is all I have received. The people try hard at the villages and are hunting day and night. Paying exorbitantly for a mere handful of grain and my money is of course going like wildfire for this and for the wretched kid - all we can buy is bought, - at whatever price. I am busy drawing or out botanizing all day, but at night I lie awake by the hour together. Every day more fully convincing me, that will the best and most generous intentions, I cannot trust in C's supplying me with food. except some one is constantly on him about it - Either he forgets it, or he sends such and so ill found coolies that they will not or cannot get on - be that as it may, or both as I suspect, the fact of my twice undergoing this starvation with a much smaller party than C can calculate when if he calculates at all speaks for itself - it is very hard and I feel it very ungrateful to speak so of such a kind friend but I am in "Extremis" and all but [floored?] through this alone - Do dear Hodgson jog his memory about sending properly found coolies for that may still mar every thing. I must also accept thankfully your offer of getting me food for myself for I am so delayed thus I must be out much longer than I expected! here I am 33 days out and not at one pass yet, not even the nearest! delayed 7 days at Choongtam and 5 at Lachen for food, God knows how many more I shall be here in this anxious state. Let Bhaggun buy me Tea, Candles, Sugar and all exactly as before. The brown sherry I will thankfully take from your Go Downs 4 bottles if you can well spare them. Also salt meat, butter and as before, Bhaggun will please get me from the [?] or elsewhere, he knows best. C. promise4d to send me such things regularly a pat of butter as big as my fist is every morsel I have received except bread and cakes, which he has most kindly sent: He is made up of the best kindest warmest and most generous feelings, but utterly forgets when to put these in practice, if your back is turned. News is just brought that the Pass is 2 marches off from this! what can I do without food! had I but food I would not care a [rush] whether this be true or not. Nimbo is very clever and has got a mound of rice! at the village 4 miles back whither I sent him with untold Rupees to get what he could, he waited all night to receive it ["sub roza/zoza"?] no one will tell a syllable about the Pass there are 5 roads or tracks to chose from all up valleys - all go to Yak feeding grounds and one to the Pass, I have not a [?] which, we see nothing for mist and rain -
P.S. The villagers have again come offering to take us to the Pass but with such lies that I will not stir from here
Forgive my troubling you so much
Ever yr affec JDH
P.S. [in left hand margin] Alas the mound is only 17 [seers?]
